The History of My Sexual Orientation...PART ONE
So, in the beginning, there were no men. The women were God. For the first three years of my life, I was raised by my 19-21 year old single Christian mom, her agnostic mother, and my 70 year old Unitarian great-grandmother. Do I believe that a lack of masculine influence during the formative toddler years decides sexual orientation? Who the hell knows? I'm sure it can encourage tendencies that might have been supressed otherwise...
When mom got married, dad realized my bedroom had pink and white checked curtains, teal carpet, and a Rainbow Bright bedspread. He also realized that my great-grandmother had potty trained me like a girl. I was sitting down to pee and "blotting". Yeah, I said that. Do I think this was the turning point? Probably not, but again...who the hell knows? Coudn't have hurt the situation....
At age 10, I was molested by two of my cousins. They weren't hurtful or anything, just completely inappropriate. For a long time, I felt guilty about the activities that took place, only to eventually realize that since they understood what they were doing, and I wasn't mentally developed enough to really get it, they took advantage of me. I wasn't at fault. I'm not the least bit bitter or upset, though. In fact, we have great relationships now, and haven't mentioned it in 10 years. Is this what made me gay? Who the hell knows? Probably had a little do with it, in that it exposed me to activities that I would later grow to love...
More to come...
When mom got married, dad realized my bedroom had pink and white checked curtains, teal carpet, and a Rainbow Bright bedspread. He also realized that my great-grandmother had potty trained me like a girl. I was sitting down to pee and "blotting". Yeah, I said that. Do I think this was the turning point? Probably not, but again...who the hell knows? Coudn't have hurt the situation....
At age 10, I was molested by two of my cousins. They weren't hurtful or anything, just completely inappropriate. For a long time, I felt guilty about the activities that took place, only to eventually realize that since they understood what they were doing, and I wasn't mentally developed enough to really get it, they took advantage of me. I wasn't at fault. I'm not the least bit bitter or upset, though. In fact, we have great relationships now, and haven't mentioned it in 10 years. Is this what made me gay? Who the hell knows? Probably had a little do with it, in that it exposed me to activities that I would later grow to love...
More to come...
posted by Dustin at 9:38 PM
1 Comments:
Okay, it's a little-known scientific fact that being potty trained to pee sitting down made you gay. According to the New Fagland Journal of Medicine, little boys who pee sitting down are 42 percent more likely to prefer tallywhackers over poo-ninnies. "Blotting," it was discovered, increases your chances of enjoying Broadway showtunes and the music of Cher by another 92 percent.
It was your destiny, Ethan, and we're glad it was. We love you just the way you are.
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