Fauxmophobes and Gay Bars...
So, I have this friend in my home town. He's a homophobe. Okay, so he's not a REAL homophobe...he's a faux homophobe. I say that because in reality, he's just a queer stuck in the deepest darkest corner of a really big closet, and he's overcompensating. Lets call him Fauxmophobe. Fauxmophobe flew to Tennessee a couple of months ago to visit for the first time. Since its cheaper to fly from my hometown to Nashville then Memphis, he flew into BNA and I drove over to pick him up.
Fauxmo had to fly out of Nashville at the end of the week. For a little Nashville fun, Roomy and I decided to head over after work the night before he flew. We would go to some Nashville club and drop Fauxmo's ass off in the morning. Here's where it gets fun.
Not knowing so much about Nashville, I asked my buddy and former Nashvillite Gary where I should take Fauxmo to eat. At this point in time, Gary only had suspicions of my closetedness, so he thought he would test the waters by suggesting I check out this video bar called Tribe. He asked if I knew where Church Street is, which I didn't (do now), and asked if I'd heard of it, which I hadn't (have now). He said there is a bit of a metropolitan kind of vibe, and there might be a few gay folks around. I pretended to not be gay, but totally accepting, and was like "cool."
Immediately, I scoured the web in search of this Tribe, and after confirming its gayness, decided it would be fun to tell Fauxmo about this cool little restaurant we were going to. I guess I neglected to tell him it was a gay bar.
So, the first thing we noticed while walking up to Tribe is the phallic "i" in the logo. Fauxmo said "Uh...interesting logo." Then we entered the bar. Fauxmo said "Not alot of chicks here, strange." We went into the restaurant (Red). Covering the walls were monochrome photos of barechested hairy firemen and construction workers. Roomy and I looked around with an expression on our face I now know to be "Woof." Fauxmo looked at me and whispered "Um...I think this might be a gay bar..." Gee...
It was the best pasta dish I've ever had...
Fauxmo had to fly out of Nashville at the end of the week. For a little Nashville fun, Roomy and I decided to head over after work the night before he flew. We would go to some Nashville club and drop Fauxmo's ass off in the morning. Here's where it gets fun.
Not knowing so much about Nashville, I asked my buddy and former Nashvillite Gary where I should take Fauxmo to eat. At this point in time, Gary only had suspicions of my closetedness, so he thought he would test the waters by suggesting I check out this video bar called Tribe. He asked if I knew where Church Street is, which I didn't (do now), and asked if I'd heard of it, which I hadn't (have now). He said there is a bit of a metropolitan kind of vibe, and there might be a few gay folks around. I pretended to not be gay, but totally accepting, and was like "cool."
Immediately, I scoured the web in search of this Tribe, and after confirming its gayness, decided it would be fun to tell Fauxmo about this cool little restaurant we were going to. I guess I neglected to tell him it was a gay bar.
So, the first thing we noticed while walking up to Tribe is the phallic "i" in the logo. Fauxmo said "Uh...interesting logo." Then we entered the bar. Fauxmo said "Not alot of chicks here, strange." We went into the restaurant (Red). Covering the walls were monochrome photos of barechested hairy firemen and construction workers. Roomy and I looked around with an expression on our face I now know to be "Woof." Fauxmo looked at me and whispered "Um...I think this might be a gay bar..." Gee...
It was the best pasta dish I've ever had...
posted by Dustin at 1:33 PM
1 Comments:
Fauxmophobe...I love it.
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