Emergence of the Gucci Butterfly...
He has not felt normal for weeks. His energy is soaring and then sapped. His mood is shifty. He wonders if he needs to see the doctor about a lexapro prescription or a mono test. He's not so sad. He's not so alone. He just feels...different. And its not necessarily emotional or spiritual, and its not necessarily physical.
The normal comfort of his dark, cool space is gone. It has been replaced with a desire to see the light and color that he's sure are all around him. The typical satisfaction of the look of the things surrounding him has been supplanted by a desire to touch. To feel. To experience. He feels trapped.
As he lies down to rest, the blankets and bedclothes that rest against his skin begin to move. At first he is surprised, then a bit frightened. The textiles are tightening around him, and beginning to cover his head. Before he knows it, he is completely eclipsed by the covers that once offered so much comfort. He begins to feel claustrophobic.
It is inside this cocoon that he begins to panic. Gasping for every breath in spite of the abundance of air, he is both scared and confused. He doesn't know how to escape. After what seems like a lifetime of struggle, he collapses in exhaustion, no less confined than at the beginning.
He begins to think. "What if I can't get out?" "What if I die here?" "Does anyone know where I am?"
He thinks about who he is. He thinks about how others view him. He thinks about the soreness in his back? Unknowing of what has begun, he notices a dull throbbing in his back. Did he hurt himself while stuggling? He feels a bump in his skin.
He tries to ignore it. He tries to explain it away. He tells himself it wasn't true and he feels just fine. He screams to the world around him that his back doesn't hurt. There is nothing wrong. He even calms down for a bit. He tells himself he isn't stuck in this cover. He's just sure of it.
He feels the bump growing. He feels it grow so large that he thinks his skin is about to burst open. He is frightened that something is seriously wrong and he may not survive this. He realizes that he's in a spot, and if he doesn't find someone and let them know what's going on, he could be trapped here alone and hurting. It could kill him.
So he screams again. "HERE I AM! OVER HERE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" He's coming to terms with his pain, and he understands now that he's trapped. He knows that there has to be something that can get him free.
It is then that his skin tears open and the bumps continue to grow. Strangely, there is no pain. His back doesn't hurt. He isn't bleeding. He knows that he has changed, but doesn't really understand how or why. He decides to ignore the change and focus on getting out of this trap he has fallen into.
After realizing that nobody can hear him, no one can free him, he decides it is up to him to free himself. Nobody knows what it will take to get him out. He feels around inside his textile cage and feels nothing. No weak spots, no tears, no openings at all. "If I'm going to do this, I'm going to have to do it with my own hands. It's up to me..." he thinks.
He gets quiet. More quiet than he's ever been. Barely a breath comes out of him for what seems like an eternity. He is building up the energy and mental stamina to do something bigger than he has ever dreamed of doing. He is conjuring the raw strength to break through the chains that are holding him captive.
And just as quickly as he became entrapped, with all of the passion and might that anyone has ever seen, he tears a small hole in his cocoon. He peers through the hole. He doesn't see the familiar dark surroundings that he's become accustomed to. Instead, a bright ray of light penetrates the hole. Initially, it hurts his eyes, but with an overwhelming desire to breathe fresh air and a seemingly unquenchable thirst to drink his freedom in, he pulls at the hole with all that he is.
With wings fully outstretched and designer mandarin collar freshly pressed, the former caterpillar emerges from his cocoon as he was meant to be. The Gucci Butterfly stands at the open closet door to look at the world around him. He looks at his reflection in the mirror and realizes that the bump in his back was in reality, the beginning of enlightenment to who he is. The beauty and colors of his wings amaze him, and he is excited to be who he is. Was this what he had denied? Was this what he feared? The Gucci Butterfly smiles, and yells out to the world around him "HERE I AM!"
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Ethan is no more. Visit the Gucci Butterfly for details...
The normal comfort of his dark, cool space is gone. It has been replaced with a desire to see the light and color that he's sure are all around him. The typical satisfaction of the look of the things surrounding him has been supplanted by a desire to touch. To feel. To experience. He feels trapped.
As he lies down to rest, the blankets and bedclothes that rest against his skin begin to move. At first he is surprised, then a bit frightened. The textiles are tightening around him, and beginning to cover his head. Before he knows it, he is completely eclipsed by the covers that once offered so much comfort. He begins to feel claustrophobic.
It is inside this cocoon that he begins to panic. Gasping for every breath in spite of the abundance of air, he is both scared and confused. He doesn't know how to escape. After what seems like a lifetime of struggle, he collapses in exhaustion, no less confined than at the beginning.
He begins to think. "What if I can't get out?" "What if I die here?" "Does anyone know where I am?"
He thinks about who he is. He thinks about how others view him. He thinks about the soreness in his back? Unknowing of what has begun, he notices a dull throbbing in his back. Did he hurt himself while stuggling? He feels a bump in his skin.
He tries to ignore it. He tries to explain it away. He tells himself it wasn't true and he feels just fine. He screams to the world around him that his back doesn't hurt. There is nothing wrong. He even calms down for a bit. He tells himself he isn't stuck in this cover. He's just sure of it.
He feels the bump growing. He feels it grow so large that he thinks his skin is about to burst open. He is frightened that something is seriously wrong and he may not survive this. He realizes that he's in a spot, and if he doesn't find someone and let them know what's going on, he could be trapped here alone and hurting. It could kill him.
So he screams again. "HERE I AM! OVER HERE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" He's coming to terms with his pain, and he understands now that he's trapped. He knows that there has to be something that can get him free.
It is then that his skin tears open and the bumps continue to grow. Strangely, there is no pain. His back doesn't hurt. He isn't bleeding. He knows that he has changed, but doesn't really understand how or why. He decides to ignore the change and focus on getting out of this trap he has fallen into.
After realizing that nobody can hear him, no one can free him, he decides it is up to him to free himself. Nobody knows what it will take to get him out. He feels around inside his textile cage and feels nothing. No weak spots, no tears, no openings at all. "If I'm going to do this, I'm going to have to do it with my own hands. It's up to me..." he thinks.
He gets quiet. More quiet than he's ever been. Barely a breath comes out of him for what seems like an eternity. He is building up the energy and mental stamina to do something bigger than he has ever dreamed of doing. He is conjuring the raw strength to break through the chains that are holding him captive.
And just as quickly as he became entrapped, with all of the passion and might that anyone has ever seen, he tears a small hole in his cocoon. He peers through the hole. He doesn't see the familiar dark surroundings that he's become accustomed to. Instead, a bright ray of light penetrates the hole. Initially, it hurts his eyes, but with an overwhelming desire to breathe fresh air and a seemingly unquenchable thirst to drink his freedom in, he pulls at the hole with all that he is.
With wings fully outstretched and designer mandarin collar freshly pressed, the former caterpillar emerges from his cocoon as he was meant to be. The Gucci Butterfly stands at the open closet door to look at the world around him. He looks at his reflection in the mirror and realizes that the bump in his back was in reality, the beginning of enlightenment to who he is. The beauty and colors of his wings amaze him, and he is excited to be who he is. Was this what he had denied? Was this what he feared? The Gucci Butterfly smiles, and yells out to the world around him "HERE I AM!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ethan is no more. Visit the Gucci Butterfly for details...
posted by Dustin at 6:02 PM
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