I Can't Believe My Mother Just Said That...

So, for those of you who remember this post with a different title, I just couldn't keep it like that, sorry…The content is still the same.... ;-)

The Fauxmophobe and I have a tradition. If we call each other’s cell phone and the other doesn’t answer, we simply leave some vulgar name, object, or obscenity and hang up. He tried to call me yesterday from a van full of my family members (he’s dating my cousin and the family spends every President’s Day weekend at our cabin in the mountains). I didn’t pick up, so he absent-mindedly said “Butt Plug” and hung up. Needless to say, my family was not aware of our tradition, so, unknown to me, he had to explain our whole history of voicemails to justify what he just said.

To prove his point, he didn’t answer my return call, just knowing that he would have some nasty thing to share with my family. Prick. I said “Cum Guzzler” and hung up… I went back to what I was doing and didn’t give it another thought… Prick…

So I call back about 30 minutes later, and Fauxmo doesn’t answer. My mother does. And she doesn’t say “Hello, sweetie, how are you?” No, she says “Hello, Cum Guzzler.” *insert awkward silence here*

Well, as Gary says, “Momma always knows”… perhaps coming out to her will be easier now…