Lipstick Lesbians and Ugly Bisexuals

So, my homo honey came into town this weekend, and Roomy and I decided to take her to Nashvegas for a little TRIBE action. Hm…I need a name for her….how about the V (for vagina, of course). Tasteless and accurate…

Can I just say, that parking at that bitch is…a bitch? I’m pretty sure they do ambulance repair across the street, as there are like, six ambulances in a garage that people park in front of. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that. I’ve had too many tickets and too many cars towed.

After we finally found a place to park, we walked by the creepy redneck gay basher complete with rebel flag tshirt and Carharts, through a group of manly looking women (also in Carharts), and into the bar. The place was packed (snicker).

When we got into the restaurant area, we were amazed to see a table of 20 hot lesbians. I mean HOT. So hot that I almost got turned on. There must have been a porn convention, or at least a lesbian church in LA was in town doing mission work…interesting concept… A straight man’s dream right in front of us… We took a picture with the V’s cell phone to send to her boyfriend…

As we’re eating, we notice a very odd looking guy across the restaurant who keeps looking our direction. The V thinks he’s checking her out. I think he’s checking me out. Roomy is amused.

After dinner, and a few martinis, we head over to the bar to get our groove on a little bit. Cue odd looking guy…after first approaching me, odd looking guy notices that Roomy and I are clearly there together, so his drunk ass approaches the V. After ten minutes of breathing down her neck with breath that can only be described as a garlic, Jaager, and halitosis cocktail, I decided to help her out. So I touched his arm and said “Hi, hon, what’s your name? Yeah this one has really bad warts and two kids, you might want to walk on…"

She couldn’t decide whether to slap me or kiss me, but odd looking guy walked on….